.. Pseudo Prayers ..

From far I glance you sitting there
surrendering yourself to despair
I see the tears you haven't cried
I feel the ache you're hiding inside

Your distant eyes depict it so clear
you're stark lost in a stern sphere
and she's the reason without doubt
for she's all what you think about

your everything is spellbound by her
it's the painful fact I can't ever inter
I know she's the star you hanker for
Except her you want nothing more

But still, that failed to stop the fool me
from craving a reality that'll never be
no matter how much I hurt I still yearn
for the day you'll finally come to learn

that the friend I am is just an illusion
my secret selfish safety of delusion
It's the shelter to my shivering heart
from the truth that'll sunder us apart

I forsook my feelings in oblivion's land,
yet, I have failed to tolerably withstand
seeing her face in your enamored eyes
forcing myself to fool you with lame lies

Standing far when I'm dying to be close
bringing my wide-awaken pain to doze
every time my eyes meet you together
every time I hear your vows of forever

How can I endure all that heartache?
it hurts me more than I can ever take
every night I pray to utterly forget you
but my each and every prayer is pseudo